It recently came out that Celtics head coach Ime Udoka was suspended a year by the Boston Celtics for “having a consensual sexual relationship with a coworker”. Yes, you read that right. Udoka was involved in a relationship with a fellow consenting adult. Yes, he is engaged to be married and yes, he is in a very public space, but many around the country are saying “who the hell cares?”
It is a popular opinion that this decision by the Celtics to suspend Udoka is an overreaction. Twitter became a firestorm of memes and jokes at the expense of the popular NBA franchise.
Here at Peeled Sports though, we don’t make jokes. We get to the bottom of whatever is going on in the sports world. We were able to catch up with Udoka at the Boston airport. He wouldn’t tell us where he was going, but instead promised to give us a statement after arriving at his destination and going through his “transformation”. We had no idea what he was talking about until we received this letter in the mail along with the featured picture of this article.
“Hey Peeled Sports Fam. It’s me, Ime. Sorry I couldn’t talk to you back at the airport, but I couldn’t deal with the horrendous thing I did.
I guess I should get to the point. I’m in Nepal. I took a vow of celibacy with the Buddhist monks here, and will stay here until my evil, evil urges go away. I can’t apologize more for what I did to the Celtics organization. Consensual sex with another adult! Outrageous. I’m not that person, and I vow that I will turn my life around. I’m already pretty much bald, so we’re already one step down the road.”
We wish you well Ime Udoka, you sick bastard.