By The Chief In the weeks since the MLB announced the 60 game season, quite a few players have been deciding whether or not they want to risk playing the season. So far notable opt-out’s include Dodgers pitcher; David Price, Braves Felix Hernandez and Nick Markakis, and it looks like soon the …
By The Chief and The Sciolist ‘Squirt squirt”- Patrick Mahomes Just a little while ago, the Chiefs signed their star QB to a life altering 10 year deal. Mahomes is now slotted to be a Chief until he turns 34. You may be thinking why such an incredible young talent would take a deal …
Exposé: Andy Reid’s Food Budget Was Cut, But He Found A Loophole Read More »
By The Chief Long ago, before the MLB even existed, the Great Lakes region housed several tribes of men. The two most powerful of these tribes were the Miami of Chicago and the Iroquois of Cleveland. The two tribes led the region in both earned run average and homeruns, but they had never …
By The Chief The Washington franchise has been under scrutiny as long as I can remember. People have called the logo racist and demanded it be changed for years, and in light of certain events they have decided to finally change it. “Honestly, I didn’t understand the problem until very recently,” said owner Dan Snyder. …
The Redskins Will Gradually Transition To A New Team Name Read More »
By The Chief NFL scientists have been racking their brains trying to figure out a way to play football while still social distancing. It is a contact sport where half of the players on the field start every play within 5 inches of each other’s faces. There were a few different thoughts as to how …
In Accordance With Social Distancing, NFL Games Will Be Decided By Psychic Read More »
By The Chief In a not that stunning move, Bill O’Brien has decided to further hinder his team’s ability to play football. It was first announced yesterday around lunchtime that O’Brien made the deal. Katz made a sandwich that would usually cost around $25 and sent it down to Houston in a USPS overnight …
JJ Watt Traded To Katz Deli For A Pastrami On Rye And 5th Round Pick Read More »
By The Chief “Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!” We got about 45 minutes of that before the interview actually started. “Okay, okay. So here’s what happened. I was sitting in my living room yesterday when I saw a headline that said the word ‘Patriots’ in it. I just naturally assumed it was about some cheating thing so I …
Roger Goodell Reportedly Has A “Patriots Cheated” Button That Is Very Fun To Press Read More »
By Uncle Geoffrey In an exclusive interview, we hooked Cowherd up to a lie detector test and asked him to give us his darkest secrets. Here’s what he gave us: “Yeah, this job is super easy. Basically, I just learn some athlete’s name, make a completely random take and everyone just …
Colin Cowherd Admits That He Has Never Watched Sports Read More »
By The Chief It feels like it’s been years since I’ve seen the future hall of famer crack a smile, and up until now I couldn’t figure out why. I had my guesses just like everyone else. It could have been the fact that the team hasn’t gotten to the Superbowl in 9 years, …
Recently Discovered Photo Explains Why Aaron Rodgers Has Been So Sad Read More »
By Uncle Geoffrey As soon as the news broke that Roethlisberger has bravely beaten his alcohol and pornography addictions, Goodell knew that something had to be done in his honor. “Considering it is the off-season and nothing else is going on in the world, this is the perfect idea.” Goodell stated. He added, …
Roger Goodell Hosts Large Shindig To Celebrate Ben Roethlisberger’s Recovery. Read More »
