By The Chief NFL scientists have been racking their brains trying to figure out a way to play football while still social distancing. It is a contact sport where half of the players on the field start every play within 5 inches of each other’s faces. There were a few different thoughts as to how …
In Accordance With Social Distancing, NFL Games Will Be Decided By Psychic Read More »
By The Chief In a not that stunning move, Bill O’Brien has decided to further hinder his team’s ability to play football. It was first announced yesterday around lunchtime that O’Brien made the deal. Katz made a sandwich that would usually cost around $25 and sent it down to Houston in a USPS overnight …
JJ Watt Traded To Katz Deli For A Pastrami On Rye And 5th Round Pick Read More »
By The Chief “Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!” We got about 45 minutes of that before the interview actually started. “Okay, okay. So here’s what happened. I was sitting in my living room yesterday when I saw a headline that said the word ‘Patriots’ in it. I just naturally assumed it was about some cheating thing so I …
Roger Goodell Reportedly Has A “Patriots Cheated” Button That Is Very Fun To Press Read More »
By Uncle Geoffrey In an exclusive interview, we hooked Cowherd up to a lie detector test and asked him to give us his darkest secrets. Here’s what he gave us: “Yeah, this job is super easy. Basically, I just learn some athlete’s name, make a completely random take and everyone just …
Colin Cowherd Admits That He Has Never Watched Sports Read More »
By The Chief It feels like it’s been years since I’ve seen the future hall of famer crack a smile, and up until now I couldn’t figure out why. I had my guesses just like everyone else. It could have been the fact that the team hasn’t gotten to the Superbowl in 9 years, …
Recently Discovered Photo Explains Why Aaron Rodgers Has Been So Sad Read More »
By Uncle Geoffrey As soon as the news broke that Roethlisberger has bravely beaten his alcohol and pornography addictions, Goodell knew that something had to be done in his honor. “Considering it is the off-season and nothing else is going on in the world, this is the perfect idea.” Goodell stated. He added, …
Roger Goodell Hosts Large Shindig To Celebrate Ben Roethlisberger’s Recovery. Read More »
By The Chief Over forty years after George Lucas premiered the first of what feels like eight Star Wars movies, Bill Belichick is finally taking what he deserves. That was just an exaggeration. I know that there aren’t that many movies. What I do know however, is the striking resemblance that the main antagonist bears …
Bill Belichick Will Finally Sue George Lucas For Stealing His Likeness Read More »
By The Chief Artist’s interpretation The Chargers recently told Colin Kaepernick that he will be given a workout at their practice facility. It’s been almost 4 years since he has played in a professional football game. That being said, the 33 year old has kept in shape throughout his banishment from the league, and …
Chargers say to Make the Team, Kaep Must Slay a Dragon with Nothing but a Football Read More »
By The Chief The NFL has taken a lot of heat in the last few years. Will Smith made a movie outing the inherent danger of CTE; a disease common in head trauma patients, new leagues like the XFL are sprouting up, the best players are being blackballed by the owners, etc. Players are …
