By Uncle Geoffrey As athletes all across the sporting world have begun opting out of their contracts and sitting out the resumed season, leaked text messages have gotten out from the Toronto Maple Leafs team group chat. Auston Matthews questioned, “What is the point of suiting up to play at most 5 games😓?” It is …
“Maple Leafs Star Auston Matthews Considering Opting Out Of NHL Playoffs” Read More »
By The Chief Orlando’s Disney World has officially opened back up. And in the very likely chance that it sparks a new outbreak and close before next year, the Super Bowl MVP will need somewhere else to go to celebrate his/her (It’s 2020, anything is possible) victory. We need a place that’s free of any …
By The Chief In a recent fad, people have discovered the world has more cakes than we previously thought. Personally, I just thought that cakes were cakes. But it turns out that any food can be one. I’ve seen cookies that were cakes, taco cakes, bananas and even eggs. I thought that was the extent …
By The Chief Last night, the UFC spent thousands of dollars hiring judges to tell us what we already knew. The guy in the worst shape lost the fight. The judging system has been around ever since man began fighting for sport. But the world is evolving. Baseball has officially begun using instant replay, …
UFC To Implement MRI Machines To Save Money On Judges Read More »
By Bob Bove With the Washington Redskins future very much uncertain, a new force has risen to cause problems on the gridiron. In a surprising act of unity, the Karens of the world have banded together to create a team that will be more hated than the Dallas Cowboys. Armed with nothing but their own misery …
By The Chief In the weeks since the MLB announced the 60 game season, quite a few players have been deciding whether or not they want to risk playing the season. So far notable opt-out’s include Dodgers pitcher; David Price, Braves Felix Hernandez and Nick Markakis, and it looks like soon the …
By The Chief and The Sciolist ‘Squirt squirt”- Patrick Mahomes Just a little while ago, the Chiefs signed their star QB to a life altering 10 year deal. Mahomes is now slotted to be a Chief until he turns 34. You may be thinking why such an incredible young talent would take a deal …
Exposé: Andy Reid’s Food Budget Was Cut, But He Found A Loophole Read More »
By The Chief Long ago, before the MLB even existed, the Great Lakes region housed several tribes of men. The two most powerful of these tribes were the Miami of Chicago and the Iroquois of Cleveland. The two tribes led the region in both earned run average and homeruns, but they had never …
By The Chief The Washington franchise has been under scrutiny as long as I can remember. People have called the logo racist and demanded it be changed for years, and in light of certain events they have decided to finally change it. “Honestly, I didn’t understand the problem until very recently,” said owner Dan Snyder. …
The Redskins Will Gradually Transition To A New Team Name Read More »
By The Chief NFL scientists have been racking their brains trying to figure out a way to play football while still social distancing. It is a contact sport where half of the players on the field start every play within 5 inches of each other’s faces. There were a few different thoughts as to how …
In Accordance With Social Distancing, NFL Games Will Be Decided By Psychic Read More »
