Peeled Sports

Will Fuller Finds New Way To Take His Early Vacation

By The Chief

 

Five of the last nine years, the Houston Texans have out-mediocred the rest of the AFC South and taken down their division mates on the path to a second round playoff loss. As you can probably guess, this gets pretty tiring after a few times. Fuller has been on the Texans for five years now, and in that time they’ve won their division four times, including both of the last two years. The only problem is that Fuller has not gone with his team to the playoffs in either of the last two years, and the reason is not what you’ve been trained to believe.

Will Fuller V first missed his playoff berth in 2018 against his divisional rival Indianapolis Colts. He claimed to have “torn his ACL” during a week 4 matchup against the Miami Dolphins, but any moderately intelligent person knows the truth. Obviously he was faking. He just didn’t want to go back to playing football in January when he could be back home in Houston and gain months of paid vacation. Have you ever actually seen the video of his supposed injury? He didn’t touch anything. He clearly decided on that drive that he would “tear” his ACL and get to take the rest of the season off.

I mean, come on man. You’re not fooling anyone. And that was only the first example of it. At least for this one he didn’t get anyone’s hope up and play the entire season before getting hurt during the last week of the year. That would just be brutal to the fans.

Oh, but it happened. December 21, 2019; Fuller fakes a hernia against the Buccaneers and proceeds to miss the next three games, which included two playoff games. It was a risky move. If Texans fans weren’t so blindly devoted to the team they may have seen what was happening right in front of them. Will Fuller was taking the Texans money and taking an early vacation.

Now it’s time for the worst one yet. It was announced on Monday that Fuller has “tested positive for PED’s”. Seriously? That’s what you’re going with this time? I understand why he would want to do this again. He didn’t get caught last time. Texans fans were so excited about winning a playoff game for once that they didn’t even think for a second that they were getting bamboozled. Why would he change anything if it worked once? He checked the NFL player’s manual, found out exactly which week he would need to get “caught” and pulled it off to perfection. It’s a perfect crime, mostly because it really isn’t a crime.