By Uncle Geoffrey
As athletes all across the sporting world have begun opting out of their contracts and sitting out the resumed season, leaked text messages have gotten out from the Toronto Maple Leafs team group chat. Auston Matthews questioned, “What is the point of suiting up to play at most 5 games😓?” It is rumored that it took four hours for the other players to convince him that there is actually more than one round in the playoffs. Marner finally got through to him by saying, “Auston, just because we always choke in the first round doesn’t mean the playoffs just stop. There’s like 2 more rounds. Maybe even 3. I don’t really know either.”
Apparently, every time his season would end, Matthews would fly to a remote section of the planet to grieve, remaining unaware that the season kept going on. It remains unclear if Matthews will know that winning the first round isn’t the same as winning the Stanley Cup. This is surely a story worth monitoring.