By The Chief
The NFL has taken a lot of heat in the last few years. Will Smith made a movie outing the inherent danger of CTE; a disease common in head trauma patients, new leagues like the XFL are sprouting up, the best players are being blackballed by the owners, etc. Players are becoming less and less interested in coming into the league every year. In response to this drop in popularity, commissioner Roger Goodell has opened up the first ever NFL Academy.
A picture of the academy taken with our low quality camera“‘This is very exciting. The academy is somewhere where any normal Joe can become an NFL player. The best part is you don’t even need any talent! All you have to do is get through the six month program and we’ll hand over a million dollars and a spot on an NFL roster. A new trainee just came in and showed me the best workout I’ve ever seen, and that includes current pros. Watch out for him. His name is Coolin Keepernick.”
Photo captured of academy hotshot Coolin KeepernickWhen asked how he would deal with the problem of overcrowding the league he replied, “Overcrowding? Impossible. We’ll just keep adding teams until there’s a stadium on every block of every city in the country. I’m gonna be rich- ard. I’m gonna change my name to Richard. Roger is so ‘old NFL’.”
Well, you heard it here first. Richard Goodell and the new NFL are coming in hot, starting with Coolin Keepernick and probably ending when some guy named Joe Smith loses his head on a kickoff return in suburban Arkansas.
Photos courtesy of siny.org & azcentral.com