By The Chief
Orlando’s Disney World has officially opened back up. And in the very likely chance that it sparks a new outbreak and close before next year, the Super Bowl MVP will need somewhere else to go to celebrate his/her (It’s 2020, anything is possible) victory. We need a place that’s free of any sort of disease but still fun. I thought of a few possible replacement locations to the happiest place on earth.
1: Mars
Mars could be a fun place to celebrate. There are no people to annoy you or spread any sort of diseases. We were planning on going to Mars in a few years anyway. Why not just send it?
2: My Uncle’s Pool
I would say my pool, but it doesn’t exist. I’m a writer for a low budget sports blog. But, my uncle’s pool is really nice. It has a hot tub and we could barbecue. I think it’ll be fun. Oh also, my uncle is a doctor, so no covid in sight. This is probably the front runner.
3: Build-A-Bear Workshop
This one is mostly cuz I made a bet with my friend that I wouldn’t get a picture of an NFL player in a Build a Bear Workshop. It would be fun though. You could build a bear. Plus, it would fit so well in the minute chance the bears actually win. They could just build themselves.
4: Montana
I’ve never been there. I don’t think anyone’s ever been there. I’m not 100% sure that it exists. But that just means there’s so there’s no chance of getting sick. I think there are bears so be careful for that. But I’ve heard that there’s super cool mountains and stuff.
5: Blockbuster Video
There’s a bunch of videos and absolutely no people. There’s also a very good chance of seeing a ghost from the before times when videos existed. I hear in one specific one, they hung up the contract to buy netflix that they refused to sign in 2000.
6: Tropicana Field
Even if the baseball season does happen, no one ever goes to Tropicana Field. The best food they have there is Papa Johns. And it’s in Florida. People are gonna have to go through a lot if they want to hang out with the MVP. I don’t see getting sick as a problem at the trop.
7: The Chamber of Secrets
Personally, I’ve always wanted to go to the chamber of secrets and this is the best time to do it. There’s never any people down there and that big snake has been dead for years. There’s gotta be a bunch of secrets down there too, and NFL players are probably all big fans of secrets.
8: The Hospital
If we’re being honest, if the season ends up being played this is where they’re gonna end up anyway. Maybe it’ll be like an award. Like, the MVP gets to go to the hospital first, then the winning team, then everyone else. You just have to try as hard as you can to breathe right in the meantime.