By Uncle Geoffrey
As soon as the news broke that Roethlisberger has bravely beaten his alcohol and pornography addictions, Goodell knew that something had to be done in his honor.
“Considering it is the off-season and nothing else is going on in the world, this is the perfect idea.” Goodell stated. He added, “We invited everybody across the league as well as thousands of celebrities to come congratulate Ben at a local joint here in Burbank. I already got RSVPs from OJ Simpson and Woody Allen. Martha Stewart got so excited, she promised to bake a cake. This is going to be a hoot!”
Ben Roethlisberger, if you are reading this, you are a class act and I commend you for your bravery.
Your move, Baker Mayfield.